Saturday, November 11, 2006

a vague distance

... don't know whether to laugh or to cry.. whether to bless or to curse .. a mix of thoughts and reflections.. the happy, the bad, and the ugly.. the demise of a great man.. and a life of a beautiful girl.. which one is causing tears.. and which is stirring smiles..

.. have you ever felt like there's so much to say, yet nothing to be said.. have you felt like you're literally bursting with feelings and emotions.. yet you can't let them out.. or even expose part of them.. for no obvious reason.. maybe for lack of words, or the fact that they won't have any effect once they're out.. like all the previous ones.. maybe desperation.. or fear.. maybe none and it's all nonsense..

.. her blurry image keeps popping into my mind.. is it blurry? or is it me who wants to see her blurry? .. my mind's eye has her in the background all the time.. like a sky.. omnipresent.. like a knocking hammer.. painful and persistent.. but I can hear her clearly.. with her cute little voice.. with her bright face, like a kid's smile on a swing.. with her unmatched beautiful and innocent soul.. shining, like the yellow ray of the sun.. with her tear-shedding tenderness.. like the fall of a morning dew from a green leave to quench the thirst of a root.. how tender and generous is nature! .. is she here only in my mind.. or far away from my heart.. a vague distance..

.. a man.. with his wise white beard.. a man of respect and integrity.. that turned all common men to null.. a man of strong stance.. swearing never to abandon the ship until it's safe and sound.. a real man who was an idol for all the brave ones around.. one of a kind in an era where fear and humiliation are the most common values around for those who are ugly enough to betray their people.. alas, his life was taken gravely.. but lucky him.. he lived as a hero, and died as a martyr.. just like every other man would dream of his life to be.. is his soul incarnated again through us, or is it far away from earth abandoning the cowards.. a vague distance...

March 22, 2004


Anonymous dodo said...

Your words reminded me of Marc Anthony's "When I dream at night"

It's so heavenly & dreamy.. It's about how one can create his own "inner resort" where he can go at times of solitude and create his own perception of happiness. It's not physically realistic, but yet true and genuine...

The song goes like:
"I have been in love and been alone
I have traveled over many miles to find a home
There’s that little place inside of me
That I never thought could take control of everything
But now I just spend all my time
With anyone who makes me feel the way she does

‘cause I only feel alive when I dream at night
Even though she’s not real it’s all right
‘cause I only feel alive when I dream at night
Every move that she makes holds my eyes
And I fall for her every time

I’ve so many things I want to say
I’ll be ready when the perfect moment comes my way
I had never known what’s right for me
‘til the night she opened up my heart and set it free
But now I just spend all my time
With anyone who makes me feel the way she does.."

Of course, we can expand this limited vision of happiness to a wide spectrum of imaginary worlds...

2:21 PM


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